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Wanted: Less Junk In The Trunk. Dana Takes The Glytone Slim Design Challenge

Wanted: Less Junk In The Trunk. Dana Takes The Glytone Slim Design Challenge

(Most of) my clothes still fit, but lately I feel like my weight is a runaway freight train. Hubby says it's because I eat too many carbs. That may be true, but I also really like to #blamemenopause.

I mean seriously folks, once your period stops, the weight gain starts.

It is Very. Curse Word. Hard. to stay slim once you get into your late 40s / early 50s and beyond. That's not just me whinging; it's a straight-up fact. 

At the same time, I'm in really, really good shape. I play massive amounts of tennis, and I train with Matt "BodyRush Fitness" Gardner on a regular basis. 

FBP readers know I think Matt "BodyRush Fitness" Gardner is incredible. The best trainer I've ever had, by a sizeable margin. 

But here's my issue with Matt, and I think I'm safe in saying this because I highly doubt he reads this blog: He's really young. And really young guys - at least the ones I'm meeting, and hearing about from my friends - are into a very different female-body aesthetic than the one I aspire to. 

In short, they like a lot of junk in the trunk.

In contrast, I would like to be skinny skinny skinny skinny. Look-great-in-clothes-skinny. 

I know skinny skinny skinny skinny isn't in the cards for me. I love tennis too much to starve myself. And if I have to make the choice between tennis and a slim + trim tush, I'm picking tennis every single time. 

To make me strong and fit - and ready for all the trunk-rotation and solidly planting yourself so you can execute the shots tennis requires - Matt has me doing tons and tons of glute work, often with heavy weights.

Listen, I know Matt knows what he's doing. If his game plan for me wasn't working, there'd be no way I could be at the heaviest weight I've been at in a very long time - 115.5 lbs at 5'1 - and still be able to fit into (most of) my clothes.

But I'm going on a cruise in a few weeks, and I want to slim down in advance - for two reasons.

One, I'll be in a bathing suit in front of a lot of perfect strangers - so there's that.

And two, I know I'll be eating and drinking a lot on that trip, so I want to see if I can head into that 10-day stretch with a little bit of a calorie cushion.

I'll have to really watch what I eat for the next three weeks. And to that end, I'm starting a daily food log. 

And to maybe - hopefully - look a little tighter, I'm starting to use two new products from Glytone that landed at my house last week:

Glytone Slim Design Cellulite Day Cream

Glytone Slim Design Cellulite Night Cream

Both products come with fairly elaborate directions for massaging the product into the skin. 

I see that if you purchase them on the Glytone site, you get a free rubbery massage thing-a-ma-jig. I got mine from the publicists for the brand, so I'm rubbery massage thing-a-ma-jig deprived. I betcha I have something similar in my big ol' beast of a Beauty Armoire. If not, I'll just use good, old-fashioned fingers to dig into my flesh. 

There's a lot of pinching and kneading involved, which I think could also be good for maybe loosening tight, balled-up fascia. Every other email in my InBox is on the topic of fascia-blasting; clearly it's a world-wide obsession at the moment. 

Here are the claims attached to the products:

Day Cream:

Shown to leave skin visibly firmer in 7 days

Dimples visibly smoother in 10 days

Night Cream:

Shown to visibly decrease thigh size in 10 days

10% reduction in cellulite appearance after 7 nights

14% reduction of cellulite appearance after 10 nights

I just started using the new brews - both of which contain a special "Caffeine Complex" made up of caffeine, salacia and ivy - this morning, so it's early days. My first impression of the Day Cream was that it smells fantastic, so that's awesome. With beauty products, I'm almost more about the experience of using them - the scent, the texture...what the French refer to as "sensorial" - than the results. I'm soooooo much more inclined to stick with a product if it's a pure pleasure to use. 

Still, results are important. I'll check back in about these products in about 10 days, and let you know how I'm faring. I'll also report back about my food log / eating struggles. The food piece of this equation is way more important than any lovely creams I'll be kneading into my chubby upper thighs and booty.

But if the damn creams help me look a little less jiggly and a lot more alluring on the Allure of the Seas, I'll be psyched. 

PHOTO CRED: Beautiful bathing suit shot above is by Zoran Zonde Stojanovski

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