There's Something Called A "Booty Shawl," And Dana Wants One In Every Color
The "2018 Cruise Countdown" has officially begun. Nine days from now, Hubby and the tot-lette and I will be hopping aboard Allure of the Seas, and while I had hoped my thighs would be noticeably slimmer by then....um....that doesn't look like it's actually happening.
Before I scoot off, I'll post the results of my Glytone Slim Design Challenge. There was a slight hiccup on that front, and all will be revealed. Matt "Bodyrush Fitness" will be re-measuring me, and I'll just spoiler-alert myself and say I'm not predicting major changes.
Because of all that, I'm now resorting to desperate measures.
Against the advice of my beloved tennis buddy Isabelle, who is a nurse by profession and a bossy-britches by choice, I've been taking Hydroxycut.
Yes, yes, I know; Hydroxycut is basically speed. "You're gonna drop dead of a friggin heart attack," Isabelle screeched at me last night, over post-match cocktails and yummy shrimp salad. "Are you out of your mind?"
Sidebar: I have to give a shameless plug for our regular hang, The Baseline Bistro, which is attached to The Racquet Club of St. Petersburg. Isabelle and I pretty much live there.
Back to Hydroxycut.
What can I say? I want to cut back on my food intake and Hydroxycut really, really helps with that.
Plus I was watching Kyle "RHOBH" Richards' new scripted show set in the 1970s - American Woman - and all those broads were popping diet pills. They were skinny. They were glamorous. They popped pills.
Yesterday, as I was speeding along on my Hydroxycut, an email popped-up in my inbox about something called a Booty Shawl. And even though I detest the word "booty" - I'll take a good, old-fashioned "ass" any day of the week - I clicked on it immediately.
It. Is. Genius.
In a nutshell, the Booty Shawl is just a hunk of fabric that camouflages the fattest part of your ass.
Like for when you're wearing white jeans that are just a leeeeeeetle bit too tight. Or when you wanna make a quick run to Publix after the gym and you've got leggings on and you're completely terrified you're gonna run into someone you know. Trust me, that'll be exactly the time you'll run into someone you know. Murphy's Law, babe. Murphy's Friggin Law.
I need to learn more about the Booty Shawl and then I need to order about a hundred of them to wear until I lose some of this junk in my trunk.
Hydroxycut and The Booty Shawl. That's my plan for now. Don't tell Isabelle.