Adventures In DynaTrap Mosquito-Management, Part One
Sometimes I laugh when I think of what a clueless idiot I was the first summer we moved to Florida.
It was 2014, and I was coming off - gasp - 27 years of living in Manhattan, followed by another five in Jersey City, which is basically the sixth borough of New York City.
In other words, I'd had a lot of concrete in my life. And I hadn't lived in an actual house, like one with an actual yard, since the early 80s.
So I guess it's pretty understandable, why, for the next several months after de-camping to St. Pete, you couldn't pry me away from our pool + backyard patio for love or money.
I was out there all. the. time., and I had the tan + billions of bug bites to prove it.
Three years later, I've morphed into a total summer vampire. Even though I have a tennis tan that's driving me completely, utterly mental, I can't summon the courage to get out there on that chaise lounge and just get rid of it already.
In part, that's because of the heat; it's pretty brutal down here this time of year.
But mostly it's because of the dang mosquitoes.
Sure, I could put some bug-repellent on. And I do, sometimes. I spritz-on something non-toxic, like California Baby Natural Bug Blend, and tough it out for exactly 20 excruciating minutes. Ten on my back, ten on my stomach then I scamper back into chez moi at the speed of light.
The problem with trying to even-out a tennis tan while wearing bug repellent is that you can't just hop in the pool when you're frying + dying out there. If you did, you'd have to reapply.
To properly deal with a tennis tan, you need as much freedom as possible. Preferably, your kid and husband should be off the premises, so you can lay out topless. And you need to be able to take a dunk the second you feel uncomfortable. Splashing around in the cool, crisp H2O for a few seconds gives you the courage + stamina to get back on that chaise lounge, crack open your book and stick it out.
Given how strongly I feel about this whole tennis tan business, and the fact that I would also loooooove to hang out by the pool in the evenings, reading (+ perhaps drinking), I jumped at the chance to try the DynaTrap.
I'd seen DynaTrap featured in the QVC newsletter (ever since I bought my beloved Dermaflash on QVC, I've been inundated with emails), and it just seemed like such a smart idea. Rather than blasting your yard with a lot of scary chemicals, it relies on UV light + C02 to lure mosquitoes + other HWPs (Horrifying Winged Pests) into a cage-type contraption.
I was sent the DynaTrap DT2000XL, which is the most popular of the brand's many styles. They have indoor versions, too, why isn't nearly as cuckoo as it sounds; all it takes is one kid leaving a door open for a whole swarm of HWPs to invade. Many is the night lately I've spent under a blankie, living in fear of the one intrepid mosquito zipping around my family room while I binge-watch Ozark.
It's effective for a one-acre lot, so it's probably overkill for my cute-but-smallish outdoor space. Still, I wasn't about to look a gift DynaTrap in the mouth. So after assembling it myself (that should tell you how easy it is to put together; I'm not exactly Gadget Girl), I set it on the ground of our patio, plugged it in and hit "On."
According to the company, although you can expect immediate trapping, the big-guns results don't kick-in until the device has been up and running 24 hours for a solid week.
I'll check back in with an update in a few weeks. By then, I hope to be parked poolside - dealing with my tennis tan sans bug repellent during the day, and reading (+ perhaps drinking) at dusk.