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The Nineties Called: They Want Dana To Jog With Her Walkman

The Nineties Called: They Want Dana To Jog With Her Walkman

I'm fat and I found my old Walkman. Now that I've gotten those two grand pronouncements out of the way, allow me to somehow stitch them together.

Basically, I'm so techno-phobic that the minute the whole wide world switched over to iPods, circa 2000-Whatever, my music consumption plummeted. I'm less than stellar at FSO (Figuring Shit Out), so even though I eventually amassed quite the collection of iPods, most of them stayed in their pristine Apple boxes, thoroughly unloved. 

And while I continued to groove to CDs, what I really wanted to do was rock out to my gargantuan collection of old-school cassettes. I have them all beautifully organized in six identical wooden boxes, and there's such good Nineties stuff: Smiths, Cure, Echo, Pearl Jam, Jane's Addiction, the list goes on...

Over the weekend, chez moi, we swapped-out a media cabinet in our family room with a spiffy new one that, while chic, offers far less storage. And in confronting all the stuff I'd jammed into  the old media cabinet, I  encountered a relic from the past: my rickety old Walkman. 

Immediately, my future flashed in front of my eyes:

If I could get this Walkman to work, I could use my old cassettes as a cattle prod to go jogging and burn some of this blubber off. 

A few new Double A batteries later, I was blasting PJ Harvey at maximum ear-splitting decibels. 

I can't tell you how overjoyed I am that I've been reunited with some of my favorite music of all time. I also can't express how proud I am that I'm a total hoarder. If I hadn't held onto those six identical wooden boxes packed with countless cassette tapes, I wouldn't have the incentive I so very DESPERATELY NEED to start running / jogging (rogging?) on a regular basis. 

Okay, enough about me and my fat ass. After compiling research from:

This piece from Scientific American

This piece from The Telegraph

This piece from Huffington Post

Here are...

5 Reasons Music Helps You Work Out Longer + Harder

1. It elevates your mood. That alone may be enough to get you off the couch and out the door.

2. It distracts you from fatigue and pain. Once you're in motion, music can help you stick with it and tune-out that urge to quit. In fact, it's been estimated music can boost your workout performance by up to 15 percent. 

3. It can trigger your memory of earlier (successful) workouts: While you wouldn't want to get into a whole Groundhog Day-movie scenario of listening to the same music every single time you exercise, you can certainly have a few go-tos that really fire you up. If you're training for a marathon, for instance, re-playing tunes that helped you get through previous long slogs can signal your brain to keep on trucking. 

4. It keeps your emotions high. When you're connecting to whatever artist you're listening to - in my case, a growly, screechy PJ Harvey - you feel almost as if they're there with you, egging you on. 

5. It improves your metabolic efficiency. Not to get overly tech-y, but through the process of "synchrony," your body wants to keep in time with the beat of the music you're listening to. That steady pace can lead to more efficient "fuel-burning." And, let's hope, thinner thighs. 


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